It feels like years since the last time I wrote on this blog. I’ve been very busy with my college assignment so I can’t write very often. Actually, I have an idea for a short story that I can’t spoil it now because I can’t do both writing and doing my plenty assignments. I know it’s too bad. If I had a choice, I would like to fill this blog up rather than stuck in front of computer doing my analytical stuffs that I don’t even have any idea whether those are understandable by my lecturers or not. Yea, I’m nearly sick of it. I feel that what I’ve been done is not the same with my passion. I’m feeling forced but I have no strength to make it up or turn back the time.
I always imagine if I could have a superpower, I’d like to be a time controller. So I could make everything up as I wish.
But, it got me to think twice.
Life is a choice. If you once made a choice, then you would live with that choice. There is no space for regret. All you have to do is forget yesterday and make a better tomorrow.
I was getting offended by my lecturer’s comment on my past assignment which was given back to me the day before yesterday. It only said “Oh my God!” but it was successfully made me thought that I am the stupidest student in English Literature. I really want to forget it but that words keep floating in my mind like a cannonball. I was blaming myself for doing such a horrible mistake. However, it also made me thought that I need to practice more and more. My English is long way from good and there’s still so much to learn. That’s why I need to fill this blog up with lots of writing so I can improve my English.
Every time I read my friends’ writing, I always feel small. They are just incredible. I’m just an amateur compares to them. That indeed made me down.
Now I think I have to stop comparing myself to everyone. Because people are great on their own way. And I have my own way, so I’ll do it my way. Just believe that I’d be great someday in my own way.
Perhaps, I’ll be off from this blog for a couple of month. But I’ll be back when everything’s settled. Since this blog is not for commercial purpose, so I think I don’t disappoint anyone for my absence in such a long time. Oh, maybe I’m too confident. Who will wait for my upcoming post? I’m just nobody. What a silly thought of mine. Okay, ignore it.
From now on, I consider this blog as my virtual diary, so I can put everything here (since the first purpose why I made this blog was because of my creative writing’s obligation). I’ll put my poems, fictions, thoughts and even my story in this blog, because I need to force myself to keep writing.
My duty is not over yet. I still have some final papers to be done in a very short time, then go to a remote village to do some community services for a month. So, I don’t think I can make a post during that time.
Last but not least, I wanna make a shout out for my creative writing lecturer, Zoe— I’ll miss that creative writing class. If only there was a creative writing major here, I would probably take that course for sure. I want to learn everything about it so badly.
And for my virtual diary, see you next time. I’ll fill you up as soon as possible. I promise. xxx
tutrianasekarrosa 